the briefest

of times. I'm rediscovering what matters with seconds to spare.

The honest dying and living is beautiful and rare.

Feelings and knowings that the verbal limits are curses.

But somehow this is wholly lovely and purest.

It couldn't have started any other way.

I'm open to this future play.

let's go, let's go, let's go.

the adventure: the anticipation

I'm still deciding whether I should delete this blog or not. If I did, I'd save all the posts in a word document. It would be nice to have these posts as a memory I guess.

Well, oh well. For now, this stays.

and I have a summer of anticipation

anticipating Denmark
European travel
new faces
better places
God's call in my life
adventure
things I do not know
 

the adventure: mid-summer (blues?)

Contrary to the title, life is going pretty swimmingly.

From my last post, things are happening. My room was consistently clean until I purchased a new armoire on Craigslist. I think I'll be able to keep this up once I get that figured out though.

To-do list every night... emmm, well, I haven't really been focusing on to-dos. Hmmm. 

I now wear my retainer every night. That was a hard habit to start.

I try to go to bed at decent hours (11:00PM).

I'm pursuing God. I want to be hungry for God; strangely enough I think my desire to be hungry for God may just be a hunger for God.

I've made efforts to see friends. It is definitely hard work, but so worth it. I feel about as interesting as a retired person though. I want to become a person who creates adventures for everyone around them. Sooo my new approach to friendship is going to be more like "friend-dating." You know, the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend makes fun dates and is super supportive and yeaaah never forgets a birthday. Why can't all friendships be better like this? I would actually want to be friends with myself.

I've settled into a comfortable uncomfortable lazy indecisiveness. Which is brought on by my parents who just crash when they get home. And a horrible work schedule. You can't do anything before or after and I work almost every day. So I do nothing but browse my email a bit at night and run in the morning and occasionally spend time with friends.

But possibly, just possibly, this slow-down is what I need to get my life on-track. It's what I need to become me. Maybe it's not laziness. Maybe it's me taking time for my health. I think I can make this work. I think it's working. Forward motion.

The Adventure: day three

Tonight I let the wind freely sweep among my hair like summer does. Refreshing.

I don't know if this blog is appropriate public reading. Maybe I should keep a journal privately. Maybes.

But things are going well, mainly 1. and 2. of my day one plan.

I'd like to add a three.

3. Strive to be close to God. Seek him. Action plan: read the Bible whilst getting ready. Get ready for my days spiritually and physically.

 

the adventure: day 1

I want to live with purpose. And let Jesus guide my path. 

Part of my attempt at all this will be being efficient with the things that don't matter. I want to develop habits that make my life better and that allow me to better focus on what matters.

1. Clean room/clean life. Action plan 1: clean room for the length of one song every night. so far so good.
2. Get things done: review to-do list every night for length of one song. Add and cross off as needed.

By timing myself with songs, I keep myself happy and sane.

Resolve

Indecisiveness makes for horrible resolutions. Just sayin'.

Life is an adventure if you only keep moving.

So I resolve to make time for God and friends and myself. Oh yeah, and family too. What does this look like? What should it look like? Does it look different from what I have now? I think so, but I won't know unless I try. And I pray to God that He will fill my life with his spirit. And more faith, I could certainly use that.

So I embark. With memories of the past, even though this is me. This is now.

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." NIV

Cute goat at the mini-golf place in Mound.